I am in an Underground Sea

I am in an Underground Sea

Pain floating riot
drugs on drugs floating
menthol vapors incense
coffee whiskey prayers 
meditations quotations 
transcend art suffering
body and an internet
puppy meme

I write,
eyes rolled up to brow
p’s be
come b’s
waves of sea on seas
sex-less ache washes 
down dirty left
useless arm
traveling without destination, fool

ice on scapula
ice on shoulder
ice on back, jaw
under blade
teeth like, a plumb
line drawn down 
body taking
sides: left right
female male yin yang
motherside merges with 
father, iron blanket 
spread across 
broken not broken
a whole family of
pain its own
language & punctuation, not
broken, I sleep

strange whispers across evening 
spread, Perfect Sleep
hypnosis track complete –

drawers of scarves jewelry
a watch rich finery my
sister’s hand fingers
a message whispered: Lupus
Was it for me?
I wake
before feet descend
into the shallow
end of morning,
next move


In Case You Are Interested

In Case You Are Interested

In case you are interested
I made this cup of tea, for me
But I will share  
Say, about 
Buts Shoulds 
and Try

Try not to think too
too much about
such silly little small 
silly things, in any case 

in case 
you are interested,
I will be over 
with Always 
and Nevers
them to sleep,

arms and alms 
at the ready, ready 

glass, should we 
try again, try
try but 
forget why


Snake Inside

Snake Inside

I have a snake inside
Me belly
Snake inside
My belly it's 
The snake
Inside with
This n dat of that this
What to do what to
Do here
Do you snake 
Snake inside
Awake awake
At night 
Late late
That night
Lake late
Dat snake
Wake wake


Standing on One of the New Whitney's Outdoor Galleries

Standing on One of the New Whitney's Outdoor Galleries

since feeling is first
who cares how the wind
makes love to the trees, running
its gentle fingers through leaves

all that matters now
is how that same breeze
draws stray hairs across your face
as you turn your head to look
at me -

      that smile

wider than any skyscraper vertical,
brighter, than any
known quantity of sun

(Note:the first line is borrowed with love from ee cummings)


What My Father Lived

What My Father Lived

Time stopped.
My Father stood still
at the edge of a dock
built by his own hands
nearly three decades ago

"You forgot to ask," He said.

My knuckles white-locked
around the steering wheel, his tone 
calm, despite the forty-two miles per hour down the 10 mph dirt cottage road

"The Fear," I said. We both knew.

He wasn't them, my father, and
he was. Every last trace of him, left
Between the spaces of What Was and What Would Have Been

(Oh forgive us our Sins of Expectation, Dear Mother Mary, Kali Ma.)

Plans are better left broken
lest they be made, kept, and

I'll buy this motorcycle and burn down roads
We never knew.




How barren the fruit
Of this life un lived.

How much garbage
has filled the veins
where rich blood
would have flowed?

Instead, the heart
Choked. Withered.
Dying on the vine

just as
my womb, a grave
for the child unborn

Better off, lest he inherit
these selfish, female


To You

To you that has broken

I bow in gratitude to you who has
broken my heart and crushed my
spirit - you have helped crack open
my heart and I can further awaken my

I will live happy, more joyfully, with this
open broken heart