I am in an Underground Sea

I am in an Underground Sea

Pain floating riot

drugs on drugs floating

menthol vapors incense

coffee whiskey prayers 

meditations quotations 

transcend art suffering

body and an internet

puppy meme

I write,

eyes rolled up to brow

p’s be

come b’s

waves of sea on seas

sex-less ache washes 

down dirty left

useless arm

traveling without destination, fool

fucker

ice on scapula

ice on shoulder

ice on back, jaw

grinding 

under blade

teeth like, a plumb

line drawn down 

body taking

sides: left right

female male yin yang

motherside merges with 

father, iron blanket 

spread across 

broken not broken

a whole family of

pain its own

language & punctuation, not

broken, I sleep

strange whispers across evening 

spread, Perfect Sleep

hypnosis track complete –

drawers of scarves jewelry

a watch rich finery my

sister’s hand fingers

a message whispered: Lupus

Was it for me?

I wake

before feet descend

into the shallow

end of morning,

next move

In Case You Are Interested

In Case You Are Interested

In case you are interested

I made this cup of tea, for me

But I will share – 

You 

Know 

What 

They 

Say, about 

Buts Shoulds 

and Try

Try not to think too

too much about

such silly little small 

silly things, in any case 

in case 

you are interested,

I will be over 

here

hanging

with Always 

and Nevers

rocking 

them to sleep,

keeping 

arms and alms 

at the ready, ready 

to

break

glass, should we 

try again, try

try but 

forget why

Snake Inside

Snake Inside

I have a snake inside

Me belly

Snake

Snake

Snake inside

My belly it's 

Awake 

The snake

Inside with

This n dat of that this

What to do what to

Do here

Do you snake 

Snake inside

Awake awake

Alone

At night 

Late late

That night

Lake late

Dat snake

Inside 

Wake wake

Standing on One of the New Whitney's Outdoor Galleries

Standing on One of the New Whitney's Outdoor Galleries

since feeling is first
who cares how the wind
makes love to the trees, running
its gentle fingers through leaves

all that matters now
is how that same breeze
draws stray hairs across your face
as you turn your head to look
at me -

      that smile

wider than any skyscraper vertical,
brighter, than any
known quantity of sun





(Note:the first line is borrowed with love from ee cummings)

What My Father Lived

What My Father Lived


Time stopped.
My Father stood still

at the edge of a dock

built by his own hands
nearly three decades ago

"You forgot to ask," He said.

My knuckles white-locked

around the steering wheel, his tone 

calm, despite the forty-two miles per hour down the 10 mph dirt cottage road

"The Fear," I said. We both knew.

He wasn't them, my father, and

he was. Every last trace of him, left

Between the spaces of What Was and What Would Have Been

(Oh forgive us our Sins of Expectation, Dear Mother Mary, Kali Ma.)

Plans are better left broken
lest they be made, kept, and
disappoint.

I'll buy this motorcycle and burn down roads
We never knew.

Unborn

Unborn


How barren the fruit
Of this life un lived.

How much garbage
has filled the veins
where rich blood
would have flowed?

Instead, the heart
Choked. Withered.
Dying on the vine

just as
my womb, a grave
for the child unborn

Better off, lest he inherit
these selfish, female
genes.

To You

To you that has broken

I bow in gratitude to you who has
broken my heart and crushed my
spirit - you have helped crack open
my heart and I can further awaken my
spirit

I will live happy, more joyfully, with this
open broken heart